Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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