I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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