are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
