yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
