i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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