Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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