just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
