some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
