Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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