Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
