So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
