I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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