Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The dick lei will go down in squad history
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
