He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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