everyone is single if you try hard enough
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
