hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize