oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
