where am i from again
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
