he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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