did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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