Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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