Moan for me like Helen Keller
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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