awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
