best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
