I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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