Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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