What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
How's work?
Spinning.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
