i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We're too hungover to prance.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
