...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
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He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
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So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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