I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
