from now on my penis is your penis
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize