hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I can text with my tongue
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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