Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
