I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
