Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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