I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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