I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
