Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
