why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
