He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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