mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
