Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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