the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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