and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
