with your own penis?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
