He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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