no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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