We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
