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Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
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