just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just blew my weed a kiss
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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