yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
