You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
