I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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