hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
organizing the empties. That sober.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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