we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Randomize
