Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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