His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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