I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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