I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
