You really coming over, don't trick.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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