you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Randomize
